Soloist! some deep shiet..

alright i was at the gym today watching this movie called the Soloist<3. it was a really good movie like no lie, it was really good. it was talking about this person that plays the violin, went from having a future, to being homeless. the reason was that he started hearing voices.

OK the reason i like this movie is that it connected from what i been thinking my whole life. The movie shows that even people with problems like mentally problems still need love.

This is what i think... even though a person is born with "problems" you cant think that you are better then them. you cant say they are crazy.. because of how they were born. People act like when you see a person with problems you will catch something.. no you don't. if you just give these people a chance to know them, to understand, to learn about them,then you will know how hard there life is. I admit that when i was younger i act like the people with problems, will give you this disease. I was Young and stupid but now over the years i grew up and i understand whats happening, i open my eyes and noticed that we are all the same.. we still are humans.. just a lil different, but i learn that we are still equal.Everyone only has one life. why cant we just put the difference aside and look at the bigger picture.. they still human beings.. no different then you. The thing in the movie that caught me was near the end, where this person still believe that they will and always be friends no matter what happen even though that person attacked him for wanting to help him. its hard to explain lmfao but if u watch the movie, you will understand. FRIENDSHIP is the key, if you think that being friends with people that is different, then you saved a life. Most people out there with a mental problem doesn't have much friends or none.But if you are the first person to be there friend, then they might feel like there belong in this world other then being looked different.. if you are able to connect to a person then you are able to connect with everyone. they might not remember stuff that happen, but if they just even have one friend, they will always have that in there heart. if they die with just even one friend, that one friend would put a smile in there face. i learn how to accept people that is different, i have some students in my job that is different, i treat them like they are normal beings.. i have some friends during my life time that is different, i treated them normal.. but can you?. no matter how different they are, they will always need someone in there life, someone that could give them a reason to have a purpose in life other then being looked at different, or being treated different. only if people will understand them.. then we wouldn't have a world full of bull shiet. i learn a lot from just my eyes by seeing whats going around, like people in trains, bus, streets, and schools. People treat them like they are crazy when u see someone different in the train or anywhere else. everyone need to look at the bigger picture that we are the same and equal in our own kind of way.. just because there different doesn't mean you understand them or know who they are.

i can accept them.. can you?

i wish!

NEED TO GO BACK TO SWIMMING.. maybe it can help me relax and so i can just swim away all the bullshiet i put up though this few months.

ahhh so many senior stuff to do this coming few months omg a mountain of paper work, collage work, work, and my life :T. i dont really feel stress out because nothing is really holding me down. did almost everything i gotta do. the thing that really stress me out is my personal life.

i keep stressing out about the future. where i wanna be and what i wanna do. but it seems that my own family have no faith in what i wanna do. but it doesn't mean im stop doing what i wanna do. the thing about this is how my aunts trying to control every single lil thing in my life trying to force me to do something i kind of dont wanna do. they ask me like what i wanna do but they just laugh thinking its funny.. but look at your husband working at a post office -.- my ass will make more then him if i continue lifeguard so she shouldn't be coming at me.They always try control my life wanting me to do what they want me to do. whats the point of living my life if i cant do what i want? why dont i just die then. but u know what FUCK THEM im doing what i want. Then i was just talking about tattoos where i want to get it and when. my aunt comes out of no where and said u getting it when your 24 and out of collage LMFAOOO FUCK U im getting it first year in collage dont care if my family yell at me. They act like i have no mine of my own.. but o well i guess when im out of ny for collage IF I CAN MAKE IT TO A SUNY im be different :).

AHHHHHH i wanna do so much stuff while im still young and i wanna travel around the world with my friends ^_^

ahh

ahh hb today at seward was a drain my legs was annoying i felt like runing but the legs didnt want to move so i force myself at the end my knee caps was in so much pain.

ahh need to get this collage crap over with and sat

ahh need get my check tomr

ahh need save up

ahh need pay to get in a suny Syracuse or oneonta!

ahh need to go gym


AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

you guys are right.. its time for me to look for a girl :)

i gotta say for the past 4 days i been thinking at my gym lmfao that i actually want a girlfriend. but really shiet no asian lmfao its a MAYBE TO ME chances is really low but its harder for me to look for a girl other then asian thats why this year im changing my dressing style, hair,my personality, and who i am :). but yesterday me and conroy was just talking at his home about how i have to find a girl lol nigga going mad hard on me :( nah i really like that. i want a friend who isnt scared to tell me what they think i'm not gonna yell or anything lmfao i just wanna hear your opinion ^_^. nah but conroy been on me really hard lmfao i'm trying though LMFAOOO. then today ernest was talking to me while walking to ec about finding a girl i'm like yea i know.. i wanna try going bay 8th LMFAOO. then simon the other day and the past few months agree with me about finding a girl and shiet :).ALL JOKES A SIDE THIS YEAR I'M GONNA TRY IF I DONT THEN GOING GAY ^_^

Update of my life! 8===D

Alright gotta say so far my school year is easy smooth like a babies ass :D

leave school at 11:30 everyday expect wenesday at 2:24 w.e halfway everyday lmfao
then sometimes gym, then work!

omfg gotta say the girls there are pretty good looking all Asian -.- expect for one but other then that i dont feel anything from them? like attraction to me they are just normal girls. WHITE GIRLS OMG BANGING! lmfao alot of them in city hall omg got me sweating LOL jk!. other then that i say some of the girls in ps 130 is fucking hot and cute! they all older then me LMFAOOOOO like 22? 21? i think around there. but i think the only girl that catches my eye sight WENDY!<3 shes 21 lmfao cant mess with her out of my lead lmfao but no lie she is like the nicest and sweetest person. the only girl at cpc that came up to me introduce herself to me<3. i wanna find a girl like that! confidence!. i was shock that she went up to me that was a cute moment lmfao gonna remember that moment for forever!. shes is pretty though ^_^ Any way lmfao set for the whole year job school gotta get ready for collage wanna go for business but mad ppl is going for that.. but i have a different field that i am mostly interested in MUSIC you can laugh at me all u want and no im not gonna sing rap or anything shiet like that. Music as in production, management mostly production. thats why i wanna go California because i believe there's a bigger chance for me to do it big there!.

Tattoos!
like i said gonna get a few while in collage first year or second don't give a fuck what anyone says.. i want tattoos because its something that i can cherish in my body not to look cool! and the tattoos i have will have meaning to it u wont see a tattoo in my body that dont ^_^ mom was like why u doing all these things? lmfao i ill be 20 once im in collage a adult now! then shes like alright fineeee u can get it when your at second year of collage LMFAO u funny mommy 1st year LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.


Mommy
i love my mom a lot like all boys do. my mom works her ass off everyday nonstop no fucking lie nonstop 7 days a week monday-friday 8-5pm? Saturday and Sunday 6-9.. u tell me is that cazy or what? she pays for bills and shiet thats why i have my own job so i can support myself with clothes and everything and sometimes give my mom someone when shes not being a dickhead to me lmfaooooooooo<3 i respect a few ppl and one of them is my mommy becasue she works her tosian ass off for 3 sons and farther. dad hes a bum.. somewhat i guess.

GirlFriend!!!!

alright so my mom asked me a few times why dont u have a gf? i said idk. but inside i feel kind of lonely u know? i do want a gf but these girls in ct kind of lost faith for... i have my reasons lmfao ask me why!. alright since my mom dont care if i have a gf now -.-'' i also made a promis to my nigga CONROY!!! that i will try my best to find a girl maybe non Asian! i actually dont want a asian gf :D not asian but chinese lmfao Korean and japanese IM DOWN!. alright real talk i told conroy that i wanna find a gf so me him and amy would chill together like go on trips ^_^ but its hard for me to find a gf becasue i dont open up to ppl... i stay quiet idk why but i think its becasue im a extreme shy person. i dont talk often to ppl except to some ppl mostly boys. but some girls i am cool with like lay wah! amy! annie!. Other then that iam going to try go different places to meet ppl starting from work! gotta get to know them! then when spring comes travel?!?! i will go brooklyn u know chill hb i guess thats how i meet ppl! to find a Chinese girl there ^_^ it might be different then ct girls. i just needed to open up more to girls! this year i will..

:)

alright! today was a good day lol left school at 11 30 like always eat chill at jacks IRIS GOT MY KEYS!!! lmfao but the best part was work becasue i was walking up with my class and this girl which was a cpc teacher who tap me and said Frankie right? i said yea ( while smiling) she and me shakes hands she goes like iam wendy (smile a lil laughing) and said why no one introduce them selfs ( laughing) OMFG MY DUMB TOSIAN ASS had this stupid ass face nodding up and downing saying yea.. and walked a way SOMEONE SLAP THE SHIET OUT OF ME PLZ! plus i think shes like 21? idk but shes looks pretty though ^_^

>:)

had a blast at queens with family party ^_^ was good! mad food!

alright i really want my lifeguard check -.-'' but i dont need it though lmfao. but angel told me i am getting a check this week O.O so to checks lmfao but idc though i chould wait not really in a rush to get money to buy shiet. but iam start saving money for collage and tattoos ^_^ my whole family thinks tattoo is bad -.- and told me to get it when iam out of collage -.- whats the point! it dont matter becasue either way i am gonna have tattoos in my body mine just get it over with. ok i am tried as hell been going gym nonstop but i am taking this shit seriously because i wanna get stronger and skinner! need grow out my hair again -.- lmfao